Someone asked me, what inspires you, the other day and quite frankly I couldn’t give them a definite answer. Honestly, I am no longer sure what exactly inspires me. I have spent the last two years trying to come up with that answer. Is it Art? What kind of Art? Is it books? I have probably only read a total of 10 books in the last two years. What could it possibly be?
One inspiration that instantly comes to mind is music. I always feel alive when I am listening to songs. The combination of the lyrics and beat and meaning behind the song often stirs up emotions that I normally push back. I think the closer I feel connected to the lyrics the more it inspires me to pursue my desires regardless of the obstacles.
Another inspiration is nature. I don’t go out and walk around enough because bugs tend to get on me, and who in the world likes bugs? But when I do get out, I always am perplexed by how resilient nature is. We, as humans, use it, abuse it, then destroy it; only for it to come back to life when we forgot it even existed.
I think that deep down, I want that strength and courage that I find in nature. I have definitely faced a lot of adversity in the last few years in regard to my mental and physical health, finding myself, and figuring out life in general. I have always idolized nature and I have tried to adopt its’ resilience. I fall, but I will always get back up and keep going. I just hope that I can hold on to that motto for the rest of my life.
As I have come to the recent decision to break away from the tradition of the full-time 9 to 5 job, I have started to feel inspired by others my age becoming entrepreneurs and embracing their talents. I have been stuck in a tug of war with fulfilling the expectations of others versus what I desire for my own life. In all honesty, I want to finally take a chance on myself.
Believing in Myself
In a way, believing in myself also inspires me. In high school, I used to openly love writing and I would boast about how I would have a writing career when I finished college. Fast forward to present day, I am a year out of college, and I have been too scared to develop that writing career. I stopped believing that I was talented enough to achieve a writing career. Over the years I listened to the negativity surrounding why I shouldn’t write instead of focusing on the reasons for why I should be writing.
In college, I lost my belief in myself, and I went through a period of discovery. I discovered that I had a lifelong mental illness. I discovered that my main coping mechanism for my mental illness caused my health to suffer. I discovered multiple heartbreaks. I also discovered my greatest love. But once I graduated, I discovered that I was lost and left without any inkling of inspiration.
I didn’t know where I wanted my life to head towards. I was so busy and worried about graduating that I lost sight of where I wanted to go. So for the next year, I stayed lost. Yet, I was suddenly inspired once more when I started writing again. I had beaten back the voice that told me to fear failure. You can say, writing has been my biggest inspiration of them all. After I started writing again, I picked up a camera and I started taking photographs again. Photography, in turn, inspired me to start creating, which led me to learn how to make jewelry.
Through all of my struggles, feeling inspired created a domino effect. The more I did what I loved, the more I realized where my path was headed. I no longer felt lost and unsure of myself. Now I am just hungry to explore. I want to walk further down my path, and figure out where it will lead me.
I only have the question, “What is next?” on my mind now. I am curious and strangely braver than I ever was before. Sure, I still have a huge fear of failure, but to counter that I remind myself that I have nothing to lose.
So, my friends, what inspires you? Please leave me a comment below and let me know your journey through inspiration.